Cafe Preggers

Came across this article in a pregnancy magazine. I laughed until I cried and then I laughed some more. Mind you, I was in the midst of my first trimester at the moment.

Cafe Preggers
First Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Tums compote
Entree
Fresh saltines on a bed of saltines, lightly seasoned with saltines
Beverage
Ginger Ale (IV drip available upon request)
Dessert
Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head

Second Trimester Menu
Appetizer
Half a roast of chicken, extra crispy
Entree
A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for you safety)
Beverage
Toll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert
9" x 16" pan of double-fudge brownies

Third Trimester Menu
(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break.)
Appetizer
Three bites of tossed salad
Entree
Two bites of lasagna
Beverage
None- so you'll have room for dessert
Dessert
A Tic Tac

*Double portions available if you're expecting twins