Came across this article in a pregnancy magazine. I laughed until I cried and then I laughed some more. Mind you, I was in the midst of my first trimester at the moment.
Cafe PreggersFirst Trimester MenuAppetizerTums compote
EntreeFresh saltines on a bed of saltines, lightly seasoned with saltines
BeverageGinger Ale (IV drip available upon request)
DessertTen minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head
Second Trimester MenuAppetizerHalf a roast of chicken, extra crispy
EntreeA succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheeseburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for you safety)
BeverageToll House-pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream
Dessert9" x 16" pan of double-fudge brownies
Third Trimester Menu(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break.)
AppetizerThree bites of tossed salad
EntreeTwo bites of lasagna
BeverageNone- so you'll have room for dessert
DessertA Tic Tac
*Double portions available if you're expecting twins